Busy, busy day

Yesterday, I had a super busy day. I worked from 9am - 3pm. Nothing special happened, but there was definitely no time to be bored.

Then I had to pick up Chinyere from school and take her to my mom's work. I was dropping her off because I had practice with the SHSU club volleyball team. I was running a little late, so I had to dress quickly in the back of the van and walk speedily over to the gym. At practice, I sucked it up. I couldn't pass the ball to save my life, and I was one of if not the best passer on the WashU club team. I was getting soooo frustrated. I got a little better (not much) during practice, but at the end while we were playing 3 on 3, I twisted my foot. DAMN! Now it's slightly swollen, and it hurts. I have to limp around everywhere. I feel like I'm getting old. Since I got to college, I hurt my shoulder and twisted my ankle. Now this! ARRGGG!

After practice, I changed because Ezinne and I were going to the opening Sam football game. We got as close as we could, so we could cheer for C*hadd #29. Ezinne actually left to go sit with her semi-boyfriend, Sergio, leaving me alone to sit with a bunch of junior high kids. They knew a lot about the team. In fact, when I said something about "#29" this one kid said "Oh, you mean Chadd*Oliphant?" I was so surprised. "You know him!?" This kid knew almost every player and his number from going to all the home games last year. Anyway, the game was sooooo long. One of the annoying things about football is they have 15 min quarters, but it takes more like 3o min because they stop the clock every 5 sec. Sam won 77-7 against Bacone.

I was going to go out after the game with Baby, but my foot was killing me, so I decided to stay home. I met this guy Steve last Thursday, and he really wants to hang out, but I've been putting it off because of didn't know my stance with C*hadd. Well, I talked to him last night. I asked if we were just friends or if he wanted to be something more than that. His response: "I don't really want a girlfriend right now. I don't really know why, but I don't." He said some other stuff that I don't remember clearly enough. I said that was cool, I just wanted to know because situations could arise with the potential of dating other people. "Yeah, I'm not trying to stop you or anything like that because we're not together." I steered the conversation in another direction, so that it wouldn't end akwardly.

So, how do I feel about that? Well, I'm glad I know, so that I don't have to wonder about it anymore. But, I'm also pissed and upset for several reasons.
1. No one is ever happy about rejection.
2. I wasted time and energy thinking about him.
3. In hind sight, it seems that he just wanted to have sex.
4. It causes me to think about my other relationships and how they didn't work out.
5. Which then makes me think I will never have a boyfriend, that I will never have sex, and that I'll die an unhappy, old hag.
6. This, then, makes me more upset because I realize how society has twisted its ugly head in to making me believe that I can only be happy with a man.
7. And this rattles my belief in being a strong, independent woman.
8. And finally that makes me doubt myself, and I ABHOR doubting myself.

These feelings will pass soon, but until then, it sucks.